


Bad Luck With A Sense of Humor

by kingdomfaraway



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Flash Thompson Redemption, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Identity Reveal, Minor Injuries, Parker Luck, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Secret Identity Fail, no beta we die like old men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25730944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingdomfaraway/pseuds/kingdomfaraway
Summary: Peter has always defined Parker Luck as bad luck with a sense of humor.If he didn’t think of it that way, every random and bizarre event that happens to him would drive him crazy.Like the predicament he finds himself in currently that involves a partially collapsed building, Spider-man, impalement, and just for fun, Flash Thompson.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Flash Thompson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 303





	Bad Luck With A Sense of Humor

**Author's Note:**

> I read a lot of redemption Flash or Peter reveals identity to Flash stories so I also wanted to play in that sand box. *rubs hands together*
> 
> There's also a fair amount of swearing in this so, you know, Language. ;) 
> 
> (Also no beta, so like sorry if there's grammar issues, I wrote this in 15 minutes while at work and wanted to post it, weee.)

Peter has always defined Parker Luck as bad luck with a sense of humor.

If he didn’t think of it that way, every random and bizarre event that happens to him would drive him crazy.

Like the predicament he finds himself in currently that involves a partially collapsed building, Spider-man, impalement, and just for fun, Flash Thompson. 

The day starts pretty normally, it’s a Saturday in October. Peter’s lounging on the couch, May’s out with her friend and later they plan on ordering pizza and watching a movie.

Just when Peter’s about to take a well-needed cap nap, he gets a call from the Avengers (well Tony Stark but really, same thing) and he’s actually being asked to come to help them. As in, Peter’s not just showing up because he was “in the neighbor” or “heard you guys might need some help” nope, Tony actually asks him to suit up and get downtown ASAP. There’s apparently some guy and his friends with these weird laser guns and things are getting just a bit out of hand.

So Peter goes to fight bad guys with the Avengers. When he arrives he’s on civilian duty, which isn’t really that bad. He’s helping people get to safety while trading quips with the rest of the team, who seem to be finally getting the upper hand with the laser guy and his friends.

He thinks he’s gotten the last few people out of the small cafe and away from danger. But of course, not, there's someone still standing in the back, waving his arms around and shouting. 

Peter recognizes the voice immediately. 

Of course.

“SPIDER-MAN! SPIDER-MAN! OH MY GOD OVER HERE!!!” 

Flash Thompson’s standing in the back of the store waving his right hand widely in the air, all while he films Peter with his cell phone in the other.

“Civilian!” Peter calls out in his best attempt at a deep voice, “please come with me.”

There’s not a lot of action happening around them but the building they are in is one of the worst-hit. Karen tells him the integrity of the building is at a very low number. 

He moves towards Flash but Flash just shrikes with joy and continues holding his phone out. “You stole my Dad’s car! I mean, like, it sucked but dude, I helped you once! Remember?”

Peter sighs, he doesn’t want to get too close in case Flash recognizes his voice, but he desperately needs Flash to move out of the way. 

“Oh yeah, totally but uh, come now. This isn’t safe here.” He tries to sound like an authoritative figure, but Flash is clearly too excited to even care.

“Can I get a selfie? Please? You’re my favorite!!” He walks closer to Peter, who in return, starts to step backward, Flash follows. Maybe if he keeps doing this, he can lure Flash out of danger.

“Selfies happen after the running for our lives portion of the event.” He continues to walk backward, Flash blissfully unaware he’s being rescued keeps following him. He feels like an idiot, but hey, it’s working.

Until he sees danger arriving, literally. Half a second before it happens, Peter gets the rush of anxiety flushing his entire body. His brain screams at him to move, move, move so Peter listens. He makes the split-second decision to run forward, the laser blast is coming from the front and Peter doesn't want to risk a direct hit.

Instead, he lunges at the continually unaware Flash, grabs his middle, and pulls him back towards the back of the cafe. Just as the laser zips through the front window, Peter lands them behind the cafe’s counter.

He quickly tries to cover Flash, protecting him the best he can because the building is without a single doubt in his mind, coming down on them. 

He hears Flash scream and then there’s darkness.

*

It takes Peter a few minutes after he opens his eyes to register his current situation. He’s lying on his back and he’s in a fair amount of pain. 

He has a moment of pure panic and terror, his mind races back to being stuck under a building. He has to close his eyes and breath for a few minutes. He’s not trapped under an entire building, from what he can tell, the front part of the building has come crashing down. 

The small area he’s managed to pull himself and Flash into remains mostly intact. However, the front of the cafe has collapsed inwards, leaving several tons of concrete between them and the outside world. He sees some light coming from above and where the front of the cafe used to be, but it’s not enough to squeeze himself out of.

He’s trapped but he’s not buried. He can deal with that.

He tries to sit up but finds that he can’t. It takes a minute to notice the large piece of rebar currently impaling his side. The Parker Luck has dictated that there will be impalement, but no major organs feel like they’ve been hit. Peter’s no expert but the rebar looks too off-center to have hit anything major. 

He’s next realization comes in noticing Karen is completely offline and his coms aren’t working either, because of course not. 

He hears a noise to his left and lifts his head the best he can. Flash is laying on his stomach, very slowly moving himself to sit up. 

“Oh god,” he hears Flash saying softly. “Oh my god!”

Peter clears his throat and calls out. “Are you okay?”

He sees Flash sit up and when he sees Peter, he screeches. “HOLY SHIT YOU ARE IMPALED. HOLY SHIT!”

Flash is only about two feet away and he closes the distance rather quickly. He hovers over Peter. There’s a cut on his forehead, blood is oozing out. He’s got concrete dust in his hair and he’s holding his left arm to his chest. He’s now repeating “shit shit shit” over and over. 

Peter holds up a hand. “You need to breathe, okay? Just relax. Everything’s fine.”

Peter’s a little impressed with himself, how he’s also not freaking out especially since he’s the one currently a shish kabob. Flash stops talking and sucks in rather large gulps of air if he continues he’s gonna pass out.

“Flash,” Peter says, he tries to sit up a little better, the pain is immense so he gives up. “Please, you need to breathe evenly or you’ll pass out and I really can’t do anything to help you right now.”

Flash closes his eyes and brings his head down. Peter reaches out and grabs Flash’s uninjured arm. He squeezes. “That’s right, just deep breathe in, deep breathe out.”

When Flash seems to be better, he opens his eyes, they go wide again when he sees the rebar again.

“It’s okay,” Peter says, “it’s not going to kill me, alright? I’m fine. Are you okay? Does anything else hurt right now? Do you have your phone?”

Flash takes a second to answer, he turns around and looks at the location he came from. “Uh, my head hurts a little, and uh, I think my wrist is broken but um, I’m okay? I have no idea where my phone is.”

“That’s fine,” Peter says, “the rest of the team knows where I was. They’ll come looking for us shortly, we just need to not panic for a bit.”

Flash nods and then. “How’d you know my name?”

Shit, Peter thinks. “Uh, I stole your car remember? I never forget a grand theft auto.”

This actually makes Flash smile and he nods so hard he looks like a bobblehead. “Cool, cool. This is so cool.”

Peter nods and closes his eyes for a moment. 

“Yeah, cool,” Peter snorts back at him. 

“So, uh,” Flash starts, for someone who just had a building fall on him he’s really chatty. “What’s it like being Spider-man? Do your webs come out of you? Can you talk to spiders? Do you REALLY know Pen... Peter Parker??”

Peter sighs. “It’s maybe not the best time for questions. Let’s just, uh, wait for the Avengers to come to get us. If you start feeling any worse, speak up yeah?”

“Oh, okay, sure,” Flash says as if he was expecting a lively conversation to take place while they wait. From what Peter can see of him, he looks nervous and jittery. It’s a completely opposite Flash than the asshole we taunts him at school. He almost feels bad for basically telling Flash to sit down and shut up, but he’s in a lot of pain right now.

Flash looks dejected, it’s a reversal of roles that Peter was not prepared for. “Being Spider-man is cool, I make my webs, they don’t come out of me and no, I can’t talk to spiders. And yes I know Peter Parker, he helps with some of my tech.”

If possible Flash looks even more dejected. “Oh, well, fuck.”

“I’m just gonna uh, rest my eyes for a few moments, alright?”

He closes his eyes but hears Flash mumble something. He’s a little too light-headed to hear it.

*  
When Peter wakes up again, he’s not sure how much time has passed. He opens his eyes and Flash is still next to him, looking at Peter like he’s the coolest thing in the world still, impalement and all. 

Peter starts feeling really hot underneath the mask and suit. He knows the rebar is keeping the wound from bleeding but he thinks he might be going into shock still. He feels little nausea and despite not moving, dizzy. He also feels a little claustrophobic in the space, he needs to breathe without the mask on.

He thinks about his options and he realizes they aren’t many. He doesn’t hear rescue on its way but he can hear the building creaking some more. They aren’t safe staying where they are and if something happens, Peter can’t get up fast enough. Flash needs to help him with the rebar and Peter needs to take his mask off.

Parker Luck means the first person Peter actually gets to tell about his secret identity just so happens to be the last person Peter wants to tell his secret identity to.

Peter takes a very, very deep breath before he talks. “Uh, Flash. I’ve got a little situation going on and I think I’m going to need to task my mask off. You have to promise me, no matter who I am under here, you can’t tell anyone. Not a single living soul.”

Flash looks at him with wide eyes again. “Oh my god yes! Yes!!! Of course! This is the single best day of my life!”

Oh, that’s gonna change, Peter thinks and lifts the mask, slowly until it’s pulled up completely. 

“It’s me ya boi, Peter Parker.”

Flash’s reaction is immediate. “What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK? PENIS PARKER? HOW THE HELL?!”

Flash continues, he stares at Peter with a mix of emotions across his face. Peter lets him go on. It’s like watching someone whiz through the five stages of grief. 

Denial. “You’re cosplaying, right? RIGHT? I hit my head, didn’t I? This is a concussion dream. There’s no way in hell that Peter Parker is Spider-man.”

Anger. “What the hell? YOU STOLE MY DAD’S CAR YOU LITTLE SHIT! YOU KNEW IT WAS ME!!!”

Bargaining. “You’re kidding, right? This is a joke. This is an elaborate prank, haha, very funny guys. I’ll give you what you want, just come out and say kidding! You want a car? You got a car. I need for this not to be a real thing.”

Depression. “But Spider-man is so damn cool. He’s the best and … he can’t be… it just, you can’t be both of them. I think I’m just going to sit over here in a corner and rethink all of my life decisions. My entire existence is a lie.”

Acceptance. “This sort of explains a whole lot of things.”

When Flash stops talking for more than 2 minutes, Peter finally says something. “You done yet?”

Flash finally looks over at him, he’s got a weird look on his face. He nods his head. “Sorry.”

“No, dude, I get it,” Peter says with a sigh. “But uh, this situation,” Peter gestures towards the rebar, “is starting to get a little bad for me. I also think the building might not be stable for very long, so we need to get out of here.”

Flash looks around the small space. “How are we going to do that?”

“Well,” Peter starts, “we’re going to have to get this rebar out of me. Well, actually, you’re going to have to do it because I might pass out.”

“Noo,” Flash starts right away, “nooo. That’s bad, even I know that. You are never supposed to take something out of someone like that! You have to leave it.”

Peter shallows harshly. He’s pretty sure he’s sweating a lot and he wonders if Flash can see how much this is taking out of him. “I know, but I don’t think the teams gonna get here fast enough. Don’t worry, I’ve had much worse.”

Flash actually blanches at that, his eyes raise dramatically. “Shit, man. That’s… that’s not right.”

“No shit,” Peter says but has to close his eyes suddenly, he has to swallow down so he doesn’t throw up. He suddenly feels Flash grab onto his hand and squeeze, it’s shocking enough he opens his eyes. 

“Uh,” Flash says but he doesn’t let go. “What do I have to do?”

“You’re gonna have to grab the rebar and pull it out. We have to find something to cover the wound with when you do, it’s gonna bleed a lot. 

Flash takes his jacket off quickly. “This will do?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peter closes his eyes again and breaths. 

A few minutes must have passed before Flash is suddenly yelling his name and padding his face. “Peter? Spider-man? Uh, please wake up!”

“Sorry,” Peter gasps out, “sorry. Okay, yeah, we uh, we need to do this now.”

Flash gets up on his knees, leaning close to Peter. He makes eye contact with Peter. “Should I count down?”

“Yeah, do it on three, okay? Just, if I scream, you need to keep pulling and then putting pressure on the wound okay? No matter how much I scream or try to move, you need to do this for me. Can you do this?”

Flash nods. “Shit man, you are like, way too calm for this.”

Peter laughs weakly. “As I said, this is actually pretty mild for me.”

Flash looks concerned but he nods his head resolutely. “Okay. One, two, three.”

He pulls the rebar, Peter can feel it leaving his body and he absolutely screams at the top of his lungs. He feels Flash pushing down on his side, maybe a little too hard but he’s too busy gasping for air to care. 

“Peter,” Flash says, he sounds just as worked up as Peter feels. “Dude, uh, breath okay. It’s out and I’ve got pressure on it.”

“Gimmie a minute,” Peter pants and closes his eyes. He counts down from 10, tries to calm his whole body down. Taking out the rebar has helped some of the pain, but he knows he’s bleeding heavily. The building makes a very loud creaking sound and bits of dust come floating down like snow. 

“This isn’t good, like, not good at all.”

“No shit,” Peter says again. “Okay, uh, so we’re going to have to wrap the jacket as tight as we can around me so I can get up.”

They work together pretty well, it surprises Peter just a little. They’ve never been a team before, they’ve always been primary antagonists and it’s weird to be coordinating with him. It takes some time, but they get Flash’s jacket wrapped around Peter as tight as they can. Peter sits up, waits until he feels less like passing out or throws up, and then he’s able to stand up. The space is just big enough for them both to stand at full height.

He sways and Flash holds on to him, presses Peter to his side, holding him steady. “This is fucking weird,” Flash says and Peter laughs.  
“Welcome to my life, dude.”

“What’s next?” Flash asks, he looks at the building in front of them, there really is no visible path out. Once again, Peter has to lift a building off so he can escape. This needs to stop happening to him, he thinks.

“I’m going to find some area I can lift. Once I do, you need to get out as quickly as you can. Don’t wait for me, don’t stop moving until you are out of the way. From there, if you can, try and wave down some help.”

“Woah, dude. I’m not leaving you behind!”

Peter laughs, it could be the blood loss that makes this so funny or the fact that his childhood bully is concerned about his safety. “I know, but you need to. I don’t know what’s going to happen if I lift something. I don’t want to risk anything falling on you.”

Flash’s silent and Peter’s losing the ability to stand on his own so he pushes off Flash a little. “Look, I’ll be fine, okay? This is not the first time I’ve lifted a building off myself, literally. It happened, at Homecoming.”

“Fuck man, what is your life?”

“Really weird, but listen, you move over here and wait until I give you the signal, and then you go, okay?” He’s still holding the mask and realizes he should put it back on, he pulls it over his face, the HUD is still blank.

Flash nods and Peter walks towards the biggest opening he sees. He moves one of the large pieces of building a little, it’s kinda like a game of Jenga. There’s some movement from above, he tries to move it a little more and nothing happens. He makes eye contact with Flash again before he starts to lift the big piece again.

Parker Luck means that things go fairly well at that point, he’s able to lift part of the building, it makes a gap big enough that Flash can crawl out of it. But it also means that Peter can’t get out, the piece is too heavy and he knows if he tries to move it, everything from above will come crashing down.

Then Karen reboots and he’s flooded with a lot of concerned voices. “Good timing,” he says with a laugh. He’s still holding the piece of building, his arms are shaking with the strain of it. He’s about to drop it down when he hears the very familiar sounds of thrusters and within a second, Iron Man’s face appears in the gap. “Peak-a-boo!” Peter exclaims and then, he feels the building he’s holding move above him, he decides it’s finally time for a nap.

*  
When Peter wakes up in the hospital room, he’s surprised to see Flash sitting in a chair next to his head. He’s got a bandage on his head and his wrist is in a cast.

“Uh, hey there,” Peter says and then coughs. Flash jumps up and grabs for a water bottle that’s on the table beside him. He hands it over to Peter.

“Thanks,” Peter takes the bottle from him, unscrews the lid and takes a drink. 

“Uh, um, listen, I have to say something.”

Peter opens his mouth to speak but shuts it as his eyes lock on with Flash’s. He sees something he’s never seen before, even when they were in danger. There’s a look of vulnerability on his face, it takes Peter by surprise.

“So I’m an asshole, I think that’s pretty true and I’ve been an asshole to you since we were like 12. I don’t want to give you a million excuses because there aren’t any.”

“Flash,” Peter cut him off, “you don't need to apologize because you know I’m Spider-man. It’s okay, I really don’t mind.”

“That’s the thing,” Flash says, he shakes his head, “you’re fucking Spider-man and you let me trip you in the hallway. You lifted a building when you had just been impaled! You could rip me in half if you wanted to. And you never, ever have.”

Peter shrugs. “I can take it.”

“You shouldn’t have to!” Flash says. “I mean, I’m sorta pissed that you just let me do that to you.”

“Are you seriously victim-blaming me right now, dude?”

Flash frowns. “Okay, this is not working out the way I thought it would.”

“Same.”

They are silent and Peter wants to just go back to sleep. He’s not in the right mind to think about the whole Flash thing.

“Sorry I victim-blamed you while I was trying to apologize for being an asshole. This has been a very weird day and I’m not sure it’s real yet. I just had to sign away my life in NDA’s about your identity.”

Peter nods. “I get it, dude. Listen, our dynamic doesn’t have to change at school. You can still be a jerk and also fanboy Spider-man all you want. It’s not a big deal.”

Flash mumbles something, looking down at his feet. “But it is,” he addresses the floor, “you didn’t have to save my life but you didn’t. You knew it was me and you still did it. You’re like, a good person and that makes shit worse. You’ve saved my life twice now.”

“And I’d do it again,” Peter says, he yawns a little. “Listen, I’m not feeling my best now and you are in shock or something. So let’s just call this even okay? A truce or something. We don’t need to be best friends but maybe you can be like 50% less asshole?”

Flash nods. “I can do that, 50% less asshole is perfectly reasonable.”

Peter closes his eyes and let’s sleep take him over again.

Parker Luck, get a building dropped on you, get impaled, share your secret identity with a bully but end up getting 50% less bullied in the end, that works.


End file.
